Accepted in the Beloved

          Overcoming the stronghold of Rejection:  MAIN HEALING LESSON 17

This teaching on gaining release from feelings of rejection is just one of the 24 lessons in our workbook for personal transformation, "Matters of the Heart." All 24 lessons will be helpful to the person seeking restoration and freedom and have been posted on this web site. They are available as a complete set in our workbook which can be purchased as a download or ordered through the mail. The lessons are also available on CD and DVD as 24, 1/2 hour teachings. All scriptures are from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.
 

Introduction  

The "trauma" of feeling rejection
Traumatic experiences can begin to sow feelings of rejection within us, especially if these were sins of verbal, physical or sexual abuse directed against us. In fact every sin against us is a form of rejection, even the well meaning, conditional love of parents and teachers who put their approval of us on a performance basis. Perfect love must at times reject behavior and attitudes that are not right, but never the person who we are deep down, created and loved by God. To be rejected (for who we are) by the looks, words or deeds of others is a tremendously painful traumatic experience in itself.

Failed methods for coping with it
Many people—the shy, the perfectionists, the exhibitionists, the high achievers—organized their whole lives around trying to avoid rejection by others, while seeking to reap their approvals. The math on this is terrible: ten approvals can be easily wiped out by one rejection. And the pain of possible rejection keeps millions hiding their real self from others (even from God), running from true intimacy, love and life into the safer, shallow waters of meaningless relationships and purposeless lives. Rejection is a gigantic stronghold in the land promised to us that must be brought down!

Watch this short video about rejection on our YouTube channel.
Chopped Liver
     Feeling rejected can be very lonely
     --unless you get interrupted by God!

Teaching summary

Based on Be In Health, teaching and materials; Pastor Henry Wright

The divine antidote for rejection
Our Father will never reject or forsake us. From before the worlds were created He has loved us and desired us. We are secure in Him. We have been forgiven (Our Forgiveness by God), justified (Our Justification by God), and reconciled (Our Reconciliation to God). This is the antidote for any rejection we feel. Listen to how strongly He puts it--we were chosen to be accepted in the Beloved since before the universe was made!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ …just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world… having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself…by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

People can and will reject and forsake us
Rejection by others is extremely painful to experience—if our hearts are secretly looking to other people to declare our worth to us. If our hearts had been established in God’s love for us, as Jesus was, we could have handled the pain of rejection as He did. Fortunately, it is never too late to learn. Let the pain of rejection that you have experienced drive you to fastening your heart on what God says about you—not people! God’s view of you is the Truth that will set you free. Learn to fall out of agreement with the compelling power of the enemy’s beliefs about you.

What rejection is

•    It is a sin against us
God has commanded everyone to love and accept us as He does.
•    It is a devastating lie
There may be sin in us worth rejecting, but we are not sin. The truth is we are accepted in the Beloved.
•    It is a major component of all psychological illness
It is very damaging to our sense of self.
•    It becomes our own sin—when we agree with it
Holiding on to feelings of rejection is the sin of unbelief in God (in His love and acceptance of us) and/or idolatry of others (making their opinion and feelings about us to be more important than God's.)
•    It is an evil spirit
This demon apparently delights to feel and express rejection in us and towards others.

We are the ones who hold it in place!
The sin of receiving of rejection and agreeing with it is the real source of all the pain that follows. The pain of being rejected need only last for the moment, but holding on to it ensures that it will continue to torment us.  It also opens a door to the kingdom of darkness to bring even worse pain and oppression upon us through the fear of man and through self-rejection (see Love Thyself! (Main Healing Lesson 18)).

Of course in seeking people’s approvals, we never realized that we were being trained by an unseen enemy in the ways of idolatry. And yet by seeking our worth through others, rather than through God, we have been making other people’s opinions be a god to us. Thank God, this is not held against us (2 Corinthians 5:19) and we can begin to find freedom by recognizing our wrong turn on the inside of ourselves for the sin it is and turning from our idolatry of others’ opinions to live instead by what God declares about us.
 

The underlying "addiction"

Have we become “addicted” to approval by others?
Turning from that false god will leave us sorely lacking a sense of worth unless we can stir our faith to truly trust in and rely upon the acceptance our Father is giving us for free every moment of the day. It is here that we may encounter another problem—our unbelief. In any moment we could have joy, confidence, acceptance imparted to us by our unconditionally loving Father—but He gives it through our faith in His Word and not very often as a feeling. Faith is like an electric tool—it does little good, unless it is plugged into a “live” electric current. We need to plug what we believe about God into the current of a living faith. To do this we may first have to confess that the sin of unbelief has been capturing our heart and learn to walk by faith, not feeling.

We need the pain of rejection to get us to shift our focus
The truth is that we need the pain of rejection to be as terrible as it is in order to turn us away from the wrong direction we keep trying to go with our hearts. All along they were only meant to be plugged in to God. The pain of rejection is like touching a hot stove—let’s learn the lesson and turn away from what burns us and live by what gives life.

There is a "secret knowledge" that snares us
Rejection plays into a painful inner “knowledge” that already makes us feel insecure—the knowledge of sin dwelling within us. Even as children we may have known that something was wrong on the inside, though we would likely not have been able to articulate it. The terrible truth about our fallenness is that for our sins and separation from God, we deserve to be rejected both by God and others.

We actually deserve hell—the ultimate rejection
But this truth of who we are apart from Christ is meant to be swallowed up by the greater truth of the gospel—that Jesus suffered rejection and abandonment by God on our behalf, so that we would never have to experience it. We are forever forgiven, justified and accepted in the Beloved! The gospel liberates us from the torment of rejection—if we believe it with our whole heart. See The Free Gift (His Work of Grace for Us) for more scriptures and free downloads on our impregnable position in the Father's heart thanks to His own great love for us and the work Jesus accomplished at the cross. We are truly Accepted in the Beloved (Our Acceptance by God).

Defense mechanisms

These are ways of the flesh we may have used to defend ourselves against rejection when it happened to us, whether it was real or imagined. Such ungodly responses are sinful patterns that keep the lovely, new creation you from emerging.

1) Withdrawal 
Retreating like a turtle into its shell in order to avoid rejection.  
Remedy: Trust God and believe that He accepts you and will never reject you.
     I will receive whatever love they can give, and give whatever love they can receive.
2) Anger and hatred
Rejecting back when hurt by rejection.    
Remedy: you can’t do much about others rejecting you, but you can end your rejection of them.
3) False identity
Searching for an identity other than who we are in Christ.  
Remedy: as we learn to trust and obey Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins to unfold our true personality.
4) Perfectionism
Trying to avoid possible rejection by becoming “bullet proof” against criticism. 
Beware: if you live by the approval of others, you will “die” by their disapproval.

Self-rejection works hand in hand with a spirit of rejection
It says there is a good reason why they are rejecting you—you are unworthy, unclean, unacceptable, unlovable.  In listening to and agreeing with it you open yourself up to hating and rejecting yourself. Once you begin rejecting yourself, fear enters—the fear that no one could love you, even God.  Fear begins to enter with everyone you meet, because you fear that they too might reject you.

God knew you long before He chose to create you
The truth is that your Father made His loving plans for you long before your mother and father were even born—you are not an accident or a mistake.  He chose you before the foundation of the world to be a receiver of His great love and grace-filled plans through the gift of faith in His Son. You are fully accepted, totally unique, unconditionally loved, forever embraced. You have won the “spiritual lottery”—through no virtue of your own you are destined to live in endless joy. God’s mind is made up! He wants you. So, don’t listen to a spirit of rejection talking to you or casting a shadow on God’s feelings for you. You are an awesome work of His (Psalm 139:14-15)!

The way to freedom from rejection

The first step to freedom is recognizing the sin or the evil spirit that needs to be dealt with as not being the real you, then deal with it accordingly. You are already accepted and saved by God, but without knowledge you cannot get free no matter how zealous you are (Romans 10:2).  

•    Accept and believe God’s truth
          —no matter what others or your feelings may say.
•    Love and accept yourself
          —as God does. This is pleasing to God who loves you.
•    Love and accept others  
          The Lord gives grace to those who show mercy.

Become so good at receiving God’s love,
that acceptance from others is just a bonus!

 

Interested in going deeper?

Don't just give these truths a "head bob"!
For further study and for help working these truths into your heart and life, see Accepted in the Beloved part 2 (Head to Heart Guide 17) and "work out" with exercises, discussion questions, review of main points, digging deeper, more scriptures, model prayers, renunciations/affirmations and practical steps of life application.

Or better yet, let us minister to you in person
     --at one of our Savannah Seminars...