Freedom through Forgiving 

          Overcoming the stronghold of Bitterness:  MAIN HEALING LESSON 15

This teaching on finding freedom from anger and past hurts is just one of the 24 lessons in our workbook for personal transformation, "Matters of the Heart."  All 24 lessons will be helpful to the person seeking restoration and freedom and have been posted on this web site. They are available as a complete set in our workbook which can be purchased as a download or ordered through the mail. The lessons are also available on CD and DVD as 24, 1/2 hour teachings. All scriptures are from the NKJV unless otherwise noted.
 

Introduction

In the previous lesson we sought to expose the “hidden” work of the enemy to divide us from God, others and even from our self—by bringing convincing accusations (truth with a twist) that turn us from God’s ways of mercy giving love. Accusations by the enemy seek to create division and separation over issues of hurt and offense and then hold it all in place by means of un-forgiveness. So what is God’s answer? Forgive! How much, how often, how thoroughly? As much as needed, as often as needed, as thoroughly as needed—to fully release your heart. Fight to regain your freedom through forgiving--it is well worth the effort.

Recovering a childlike spirit
The truth is a childlike heart of joy is waiting for all of us on the other side of fully forgiving the very ones whom an enemy used to rob us of our joy! God really wants to turn the tables on the enemy, but He needs us to work with Him, not against Him. Un-forgiveness in all of its forms is an agreement with satan, not God. Ouch. It not only hardens our hearts (separating us from peace and joy), but it also damages our bodies (through the stress response). These strongholds have to be torn down.

Watch a short video about forgiveness on our YouTube channel
Forgiving Cats
     A cat's teenage pregnancy led to a very funny encounter with God.
 

Teaching summary

Bitterness is the number one block to healing
It leads to unanswered prayer (Mark 11:25) and it holds in place a host of deadly emotions. It is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. Grudges do bad things to our bodies, minds and hearts. We simply have to choose between getting even and getting well. The writer of Hebrews warns that if we have a root of bitterness it will trouble us and defile many others through their contact with us.

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled… Hebrews 12:14-15

Bitterness is a stressor to the body
It can lead directly to illness, but it also keeps trauma from being healed and that adversely affects our health as well. How does that play in?  Unmended trauma of the past increases the levels of anxiety and fear we carry which are so damaging to health, since the pain of unforgiven offense is always telling us that God and others can’t be trusted. Bitterness is a block to healing, because God has written that He will not release mercy we need, or answer prayer, if we don’t show mercy (see also Luke 6:37-38).

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses. Mark 11:25-26

Bitterness is a stronghold
Learn to carry it captive before it carries you captive (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). The high thought of bitterness is saying to God, “My law of not forgiving is better than Your law of mercy.” Fall completely out of agreement with its thoughts and feelings—before what begins as a seed of hurt or offense grows into a stronghold of nightmarish proportions.
 

The downward spiral of bitterness

There are 7 underlings or degrees of the bitterness “strong man” (Luke 11:21-22). Bitterness never stays where you put it—it seeks to keep on growing and spreading. It wants to take over your life.

• Un-forgiveness 
     (not letting go of hurt, offense, or wrongs).
• Resentment
     (to “re-feel” old offenses; keeping a record of wrongs).
• Retaliation
     (getting even by criticism, passive aggressive behavior, etc.).
• Anger and wrath
     (sudden upsurge, going out to the other person or down upon oneself).
• Hatred 
     (detesting, despising, strong disliking, intense ill will, rejection, hardness, apathy).
• Violence
     (wanting to see harm come to another, desiring to lash out or hurt back).
• Murder
     (with the tongue, or in the heart, or by criminal act; wishing them dead).
 

An image of the forgiveness process

Bitterness is like a barren tree that needs removing
There is a process to doing the work of forgiving and it can be as hard as cutting down a tree, hauling off all the branches, then digging up the stump. It doesn't always happen just by saying the words. (see above illustration)

1. By an act of your will choose to cut the tree down. The enemy will oppose this with many arguments and raising up strong feelings within you against it. Do it anyway. Forgiveness begins with an act of the will to agree with God and obey Him by speaking it forth and releasing it as well as
you can. You will receive freedom thorugh forgiving.

2. Keep cutting once it is down. With each return of old feelings, cut through the trunk that remains. This represents your emotional system which often will take working with once your will is set on getting the job of forgiveness fully accomplished. Watch how the enemy (disguised as your own thought life) will accuse you of having failed at forgiving or that it doesn't work and you should just give it up. He works both sides of the street! Just keep on doing it anyway. He's a loser--don't agree with him! You will gain even more freedom through forgiving.

3. Cleared ground at last! Eventually you will work through the leafy branches and feel full forgiveness as your emotional system gets free—all remembered pain is gone once forgiveness is complete! What began with an act of the will and a cleclaration by the mouth, has now become what Jesus commands--forgiveness from the heart (see Matthew 18:35). You will be restored to total freedom through forgiving.

4. The stump that may trip you up later is the question that “stumps” us: why did God allow it? Release Him also. Trust His love and wisdom—even when you can’t understand it. Romans 8:28 is the best "stump remover"--use it to gain faith for His redemptive purposes which will always be worth the pain we travel through in order to enter into them. God never makes a mistake or sins so it is inappropriate to speak in terms of forgiving God in that sense.  However, but we do need to release Him from any bitter jugdments we may have formed against Him and His leadership over our lives.

Combine forgiveness with the power of believing

Forgiving others releases the pain and weight of wrong off of us, but we may still feel saddened by the loss we experienced. To help us God has given magnificent promises of restoration—for those who love Him (see Romans 8:28).

But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Genesis 50:20

The temptation to judgment
God separates us from our sins (Romans 7:17), but judgment binds our spirit with bitterness and blinds us to our own pride and unloving hearts. The Holy Spirit gives discernment about sin so that: a) We won’t walk in the dark, not knowing good from evil, right from wrong; and b) We will be able to pray for that person and help them turn back to God. The enemy seeks to turn discernment into judgment and bind the sinner to the sin. Bitter judgment goes against what Jesus suffered at the cross—He died to forgive. Bitter judgment is the nature of Satan in us, seeking to express itself through us.

The necessity of forgiveness
The truth is no one is ever trapped in their pain by the sins of others. We are entrapped by our own sin of bitter judgments. Forgiveness brings release: it is a major key to the Kingdom of God (Matthew 16:18-20; John 20:21-23). We are to loose sinners from their sins and bind the enemy. But when believers bind sinners to their sins, we unwittingly loose the enemy and advance his kingdom—first in us, then into the world around us as we spread the poison. Turn the key that sets captive hearts free!

 
Biblical incentives to forgive

Try these for leverage, they really work!

1) Your own freedom. Un-forgiveness brings torment (Matthew 18:34-35) by binding hurt, hardness and heaviness to our hearts. It also generates fear and insecurity and it is a block to receiving answers to prayers, even prayers for healing (Mark 11:25).
2) They don’t know what they are doing. Jesus said it—so it’s true. Let it work for you (Luke 23:34).
3) Humble yourself—see your own sinfulness and it is easier to release others (Matthew 18:33).
4) Get compassion for them—God looks past the sin to see the wounds. Do likewise (2 Timothy 2:24-26).
5) Let Jesus gain the inheritance He died to receive—forgiveness for all sinners.

God is seeking a people after His own heart
He desires a people willing to keep their hearts open and loving, no matter what the cost.  His call to forgive is an invitation to pass from death to life.  Don't let this opportunity slip away. Purpose in your heart to truly forgive those who have wronged you.  Put the offense and the person under the Blood at the foot of the Cross as often as needed until even the memory of the event no longer gives pain. It begins as an act of the will.  Feelings follow. If you need some coaching in exactly how to get your heart over this hurdle, follow the link below. Experience the peace and release of finally letting go as you recover all your lost freedom through forgiving.  

Say yes to life!
 

Interested in going deeper?

Don't just give these truths a "head bob"!
For further study and for help working these truths into your heart and life, see Freedom through Forgiving part 2 (Head to Heart Guide 15) and "work out" with exercises, discussion questions, review of main points, digging deeper, more scriptures, model prayers, renunciations/affirmations and practical steps of life application.

Or better yet, let us minister to you in person
     --at one of our Savannah Seminars...