How to Forgive the Unforgivable

In 10 Heaven-Assisted Steps

This article on how to forgive the unforgivable is an introduction to 'Matters of the Heart,' our free eCourse for spiritual growth and emotional transformation.

Hard, But Not Impossible Steps

If you have a hard job to do, it really helps to break it down into smaller steps. How do you forgive the unforgivable? How do you really let go of a deep injury? Sometimes we can forgive simply by speaking the words. However, if the pain of the past is sticking to you like glue, walk your heart through these ten steps. Then watch your life in Christ take off as the Master of Mercy walks through these steps with you!

1) Pray for Help.

Since forgiveness is God's idea, begin by asking for His help. The 'want to want to prayer' is a lifesaver: 'God, help me want to want what You want and hate what You hate.' This honest prayer is powerful because it gives God permission to work inside our heart. 

2) Be Honest about the Pain.

First, don't try to minimize the wrong that was done or the harm you felt. Sin hurts! That is why it cannot be excused - only forgiven. Then, acknowledge the ways that God has sent people or done things to comfort you. He cares! Believing that God cares helps us entrust our pain to Him.

3) Ask God to Forgive Them.

God reconciled Himself to everyone at the cross, not 'counting' their sins against them. In that sense He has already forgiven them. However, He still needs our prayers in order to work with anyone who is separated from Him by sin. If we cannot ask God to forgive them, how will we declare it ourselves?

4) Ask God to Punish the Real Enemy.

Doesn't justice demand that someone suffer punishment? Of course it does! Jesus has been punished fully for human sin, but the invisible kingdom of darkness needs to get its due too! Many Christians are angry at people; few are they who know how to hate the real enemy. Ask God to make sure that the enemy's kingdom gets a black eye out of the way the Lord will be advancing His kingdom now that you are submitting to His will.

5) Ask God to Forgive You.

By now you may be seeing that the sin of bitterness in your own heart is a very dark thing indeed - and cannot be excused. If the hurt and anger have gone deep, we will need all the help we can get in order to become free of it. Being honest about our own sin of unforgiveness, enables God to release fresh grace to us. Now we can be confident He is completely with us in the effort!

6) Choose to Forgive Them.

This is an act of your will, not a feeling. Never wait for the feelings to come! In fact the worse your feelings are, the greater your emotional freedom will become once you release your mercy. Hold them in your mind's eye and declare forgiveness, 'I forgive you and release you from all my bitter judgments.' Forgiveness is giving the person, the pain and the injustice to God and trusting God with it all. Keep releasing everything about what happened to God. His Spirit will be working in your heart as you do.

7) Choose to Forgive Yourself.

This should be easy - we know how much we have already suffered. But the truth is that we had been binding the thing to ourselves! We could have been free a lot sooner!

8) Believe God's Magnificent Promise.

This is a great incentive to fully forgive someone: God promises that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him. Now that we are obeying His command to forgive, we are at last in a position to receive this promise in its fullness. Let your heart open wide to the fantastic reality that a greater good will now come out of the very thing that an enemy originally meant for evil.

9) Pray for Them.

Job's fortunes' were restored when he prayed for the friends that had treated him badly. Pray vigorously for God to bless the one you have forgiven. This cleans the heart like a pressure wash!

10) Thank God by Faith.

Now that you can feel the release, thank God for working so patiently with you. Acknowledge that He truly can mend your heart and restore the freshness of your life in Christ, once He gets you to cooperate with Him. Thank Him for persevering with you!

Nobody said forgiving deep injuries is easy, only that it is necessary.  How do you forgive? These ten steps are guaranteed to work, but only if you work them as you walk your heart through them!

Make sure you stay with it until the sweetness of inner peace returns!

Interested in Going Deeper?

Consider taking our free eCourse for Healing. We have designed a complete series for personal transformation, 'Matters of the Heart,' to help Christians gain emotional freedom and inner healing. In all there are 24 Main Healing Lessons and 24 Head to Heart Guides to help you bring your heart to God and receive His Great Heart for you in return!